none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I touched a dick in church today
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
