Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
