Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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