He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
