this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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