Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
