You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
