I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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