Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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