Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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