They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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