**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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