In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
