...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
