he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
