am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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