whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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