I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
