dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
