my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
