Is it because I queefed?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
