dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
