When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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