So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize