We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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