either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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