the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
