There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
