the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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