guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
