at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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