So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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