we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
