I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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