You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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