i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
