You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
