i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
