Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
