when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
