id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
