Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You can't special order awesome
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't watch enough power rangers
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize