How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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