i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She announced her abortion via fbk
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
