He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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