I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
