i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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