so that wasnt chicken after all
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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