Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
