Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
As shirtless as possible
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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