apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
