Pappa wants mamma naked
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize