whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
