ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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