hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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