I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
