you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
