Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is the high leading the old right now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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