If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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