I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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