Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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