So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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