JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
