ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
