friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
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I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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