I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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