you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My pussy is not your playground.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
