He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
